⚓ Captain. ⚓

  1. 070311
     

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    tags:  EMMALEE  still a favorite 

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  4. 070111
    I got this jacket today from Cotton On for $10, which is about $109 less than the one I wanted from Dangerfeild, and this one seems cuter. Today I realised that I needed these last few weeks to focus on exactly how much I love my fiancée. We all know I spent forever being infatuated with another girl, an infatuation which resulted in an unattractive tattoo which im left with forever, a book, considerable amount of money wasted and ultimately at the end, cost me a job I adored. The biggest thing I lost is the person who I felt id never loose. As much as it all hurt, I feel happy today, I forgive her, officially, and I forgive myself. I am madly in-love with my fiancé, she is my world and my air and my water and my bread; she consumes my thoughts, and I always knew this from the second that I met her however maybe I wasn’t sure. Tonight, she is the one going out, and I think that I want to put some film in one of my 35mm’s and go for a walk. I love photography, I remember what it was like so long ago to feel it in my blood, and to feel it in my soul. Last night I guess I was grounded, people know me as a photographer who has been in the industry for longer than they have even known the industry existed, people respect my photographs because they know its my experience and passion that gets me places. Im going to focus my energy into positive things, Im going to open that studio I always wanted to open, Im going to do things to photography and the community that people cant even comprehend. Arrogance is the old me, Ambitious is the new me. Fine tuned sweethearts. Jason Micheal Henson.

    I got this jacket today from Cotton On for $10, which is about $109 less than the one I wanted from Dangerfeild, and this one seems cuter. Today I realised that I needed these last few weeks to focus on exactly how much I love my fiancée. We all know I spent forever being infatuated with another girl, an infatuation which resulted in an unattractive tattoo which im left with forever, a book, considerable amount of money wasted and ultimately at the end, cost me a job I adored. The biggest thing I lost is the person who I felt id never loose. As much as it all hurt, I feel happy today, I forgive her, officially, and I forgive myself. I am madly in-love with my fiancé, she is my world and my air and my water and my bread; she consumes my thoughts, and I always knew this from the second that I met her however maybe I wasn’t sure. Tonight, she is the one going out, and I think that I want to put some film in one of my 35mm’s and go for a walk. I love photography, I remember what it was like so long ago to feel it in my blood, and to feel it in my soul. Last night I guess I was grounded, people know me as a photographer who has been in the industry for longer than they have even known the industry existed, people respect my photographs because they know its my experience and passion that gets me places. Im going to focus my energy into positive things, Im going to open that studio I always wanted to open, Im going to do things to photography and the community that people cant even comprehend. Arrogance is the old me, Ambitious is the new me. Fine tuned sweethearts.

    Jason Micheal Henson.

     

  5. 062811
    We fly home tomorrow, I’m so disappointed because I’ve never loved a city so much before in my life. It’s almost as though every fantasy and dream I could have has been placed inside the fog covered scape of Melbourne. From rooftop cinemas to secluded bars in alley ways I only found by being truly lost, truly free, this city has saved my soul and shown me my favorite season in it’s depth. It’s like a book elegantly bound. I feel that that squealing which pierced my ears for so many years has silenced it’s self in a portrayal of ecstasy. I never want to leave, I never want to see who I was before I arrived, I never want to return. I feel blessed that I will go home and be able to start a new and fascinating life, with a new job and a new apartment and the beautiful suit I purchased yesterday. Hello.

    We fly home tomorrow, I’m so disappointed because I’ve never loved a city so much before in my life. It’s almost as though every fantasy and dream I could have has been placed inside the fog covered scape of Melbourne. From rooftop cinemas to secluded bars in alley ways I only found by being truly lost, truly free, this city has saved my soul and shown me my favorite season in it’s depth. It’s like a book elegantly bound. I feel that that squealing which pierced my ears for so many years has silenced it’s self in a portrayal of ecstasy. I never want to leave, I never want to see who I was before I arrived, I never want to return. I feel blessed that I will go home and be able to start a new and fascinating life, with a new job and a new apartment and the beautiful suit I purchased yesterday. Hello.

     

  6. Australian Immigration Museum, Melbourne.

    Australian Immigration Museum, Melbourne.

     

  7. 062411
    We are on the way to the airport, in just over two hours we will be in Melbourne, just in time for a brunch, some shopping and a good dance. I’m wearing a singlet, shirt, coat, fur coat and a bowlers hat, just invade it’s cold.

    We are on the way to the airport, in just over two hours we will be in Melbourne, just in time for a brunch, some shopping and a good dance. I’m wearing a singlet, shirt, coat, fur coat and a bowlers hat, just invade it’s cold.

     

  8. 062111
     

  9. [Flash 10 is required to watch video]

    I have received a few questions from people asking me to play guitar. I do not know if its just to mock me, or just to see if I lie in my posts, but I took you up on the offer. This is something I learned yesterday, so forgive me for the 63 and a half fuck ups. I do not claim to be any good, I just love to play. 

     

  10. I just fixed the Sailor Jerry tattoo I gave myself a while ago. She looked like a fat Asian with down syndrome before, and now she looks fucking sick, just not like a sailor. Hands are covered in ink, time to fuck my body 0_? Chea.

    I just fixed the Sailor Jerry tattoo I gave myself a while ago. She looked like a fat Asian with down syndrome before, and now she looks fucking sick, just not like a sailor. Hands are covered in ink, time to fuck my body

    0_?

    Chea.

     

  11. 062011

    Im feeling intense anxiety at the moment. Elevated levels of sociophobia, unwillingness to conduct mild conversation and refusal to answer phone calls. Choking after every swallow with the sheer regret of conscience. I don’t know why I cant sleep anymore. I was so good at sleeping at 10pm every night, and I had done so for the last eight months. Suddenly im unemployed and I haven’t slept more than five hours in the last week, I just keep going over everything again and again, I really loved my job, I did nothing wrong, nothing that actually hurt anyone, nothing that couldn’t be laughed off over coffee and a toasted cheese sandwich. I cant help but think I was right, I was only suspicious because of a conversation I heard him have with my old boss on his first day, the conversation I tried to tell her about, the conversation that made me sick. My fault for eves dropping. I can avoid dwelling on it during the days, its at night when darkness covers and the freeze touches my throat, I become asphyxiated in the thoughts. Im utterly ruined and I cant tell you exactly what’s happened, because apparently my blog isn’t my blog, it is a public forum which can make me responsible for defamation, it becomes so fucking out of control, I cant deal with it anymore. I want my job back so badly, I loved it, every aspect of it, even the days where I went home and thought “I hate my job”. Im so paranoid now, just writing this, because I don’t know what im allowed to say on my own blog anymore. I feel suicidal, very suicidal. Today, I tried to chop my penis off with a pair of scissors because I was angry at myself for thinking with my cock. I cant imagine any employer hiring someone that was fired for Sexual Harassment, and that’s the worst part, because I am not one of those guys. I open the door for a lady, I pay for diner, I don’t make a move until the move is made, I talk about females by their name and not “bitch, hoe or chick”. The reason I dislike Hot Damn so much is because it breaks my heart to see females with no self respect, the last time I was there, a girl had her breasts out and the boys were being pathetic animal creatures, I couldn’t be there, I ran to the bathroom to cry only to find more females lacking in self respect, I question wether it’s the alcohol mixed with the attention that turns them on, or if they were wired that way. My point is that I am not a sexual predator, however Im so fucking scared that every possible employer in my future will look at my resume without even considering how perfectly able I am for the position, and they will discard me like a paper trash. I refuse to be on centrelink at all, I refuse to go back to that lifestyle. I will receive money on Wednesday that is to last me until it runs out, If I have no job after that, I promise to all of you lovely followers that I will no longer be alive, and you can hold me to that, because I see no future regardless.

     

  12. Untitled 5. - Jason Micheal Henson 

    Untitled 5. - Jason Micheal Henson 

     

  13. This is my day pretty much. I spent this morning with some lawyers who gave me possibly the best advice I have received regarding my situation, and when I got home I did three good sized loads of washing to prepare for when we leave for Melbourne this Friday. I just finished ironing all of my shirts. The highlight of my day was when Katherine sent me an email with one of those jobs you look at and think “This one is made for me”.  From left to right: Laptop – Used for posting on my blog, editing photographs,  looking for employment , writing and recording the speaking version of written poetry. Betty Crocket Chocolate Caramel Brownies – I decided that ill make a baked dinner and desert tonight for my baby, because Im currently suffering with a cold and insomnia, which is ruining her sleep. I just want her to feel as loved as she is. Guitar – This is my favourite guitar, this is my twelve string Washburn, which I only just got back from grandmother’s on Saturday. I learned how to play O’ Sister this afternoon, and I sung it with such conviction, still never as good as Dallas. External Hard Drive – Another of the items which were at my grandmothers for an extended period of time. This hard drive has every photograph that I have ever taken. Im going through that “I miss being a photographer” stage, and Im looking to remake my website in the coming days so that I can live my life doing that im most passionate about. Book: The Social Philosophers – I bought this guy last Tuesday. It was going to be a present I wrapped for an old friend in my comic book pages, yet after Wednesdays events, It just seemed like a waste of vintage comics. Its rather engaging, I have only read half way through Aristotle, and I have a considerable amount of time until I make it to Montaigne, which is the reason I bought it, But you cant just open a book and skip a few chapters, it should be against the law. 

    This is my day pretty much. I spent this morning with some lawyers who gave me possibly the best advice I have received regarding my situation, and when I got home I did three good sized loads of washing to prepare for when we leave for Melbourne this Friday. I just finished ironing all of my shirts. The highlight of my day was when Katherine sent me an email with one of those jobs you look at and think “This one is made for me”. 

    From left to right:

    Laptop – Used for posting on my blog, editing photographs,  looking for employment , writing and recording the speaking version of written poetry.

    Betty Crocket Chocolate Caramel Brownies – I decided that ill make a baked dinner and desert tonight for my baby, because Im currently suffering with a cold and insomnia, which is ruining her sleep. I just want her to feel as loved as she is.

    Guitar – This is my favourite guitar, this is my twelve string Washburn, which I only just got back from grandmother’s on Saturday. I learned how to play O’ Sister this afternoon, and I sung it with such conviction, still never as good as Dallas.

    External Hard Drive – Another of the items which were at my grandmothers for an extended period of time. This hard drive has every photograph that I have ever taken. Im going through that “I miss being a photographer” stage, and Im looking to remake my website in the coming days so that I can live my life doing that im most passionate about.

    Book: The Social Philosophers – I bought this guy last Tuesday. It was going to be a present I wrapped for an old friend in my comic book pages, yet after Wednesdays events, It just seemed like a waste of vintage comics. Its rather engaging, I have only read half way through Aristotle, and I have a considerable amount of time until I make it to Montaigne, which is the reason I bought it, But you cant just open a book and skip a few chapters, it should be against the law. 

     

  14. And in that moment, they were free, no consignments, no ties to cause anymore hurt, the world went silent and the ringing in his ears subsided to the whispers of trees outside his window. She, as beautiful as before, now safe from the haunting feeling of guilt which she had never deserved. The war was over, they could see the planes retreat in an amiable pattern which left the sky line writing words of captive surrender. They were safe, his mind had returned from a captive hell, tears of rejoice sparkled from clear eyes, he could see the color and touch it with fresh hands. She was safe in darkness, she was safe in the coldest bathrooms and she smiled for the very first time. Retreat! Retreat! The war is over.

    And in that moment, they were free, no consignments, no ties to cause anymore hurt, the world went silent and the ringing in his ears subsided to the whispers of trees outside his window. She, as beautiful as before, now safe from the haunting feeling of guilt which she had never deserved. The war was over, they could see the planes retreat in an amiable pattern which left the sky line writing words of captive surrender. They were safe, his mind had returned from a captive hell, tears of rejoice sparkled from clear eyes, he could see the color and touch it with fresh hands. She was safe in darkness, she was safe in the coldest bathrooms and she smiled for the very first time. Retreat! Retreat! The war is over.

     

  15. 061911
    I’ve been looking back, wondering where it all went wrong. I was so good at what I did, I was so proud and content. I heard an old saying once; You kiss the devil, she stains your lips. Some of you will remember the old me. It seemed at the time to be a quiet and dreary life, yet I look back with pride and confidence as I was passionate about the air I breathed. I have not had a drop of alcohol since Wednesday, and I have decided to keep it that way again for what I hope is the rest of my life. I kissed the devil and she ruined my mind, and it felt like the alcohol made the stain grow. Years ago, I knew who I was; I was terribly ugly but I knew myself and I used my talent to the best of it’s abilities, today I’m just miserable and angry at the world, being vindictive, being viscous. I lost the best thing I had, all because I couldn’t handle the fact that it was to share and not to own. Somewhere, I developed greed, I turned my confidence into arrogance, I turned my charm into a pathetic tool used for bettering myself and belittling others. I’m sorry for my past, it cannot be changed, yet the future can change, and the future is only seconds away.

    I’ve been looking back, wondering where it all went wrong. I was so good at what I did, I was so proud and content. I heard an old saying once; You kiss the devil, she stains your lips. Some of you will remember the old me. It seemed at the time to be a quiet and dreary life, yet I look back with pride and confidence as I was passionate about the air I breathed. I have not had a drop of alcohol since Wednesday, and I have decided to keep it that way again for what I hope is the rest of my life. I kissed the devil and she ruined my mind, and it felt like the alcohol made the stain grow. Years ago, I knew who I was; I was terribly ugly but I knew myself and I used my talent to the best of it’s abilities, today I’m just miserable and angry at the world, being vindictive, being viscous. I lost the best thing I had, all because I couldn’t handle the fact that it was to share and not to own. Somewhere, I developed greed, I turned my confidence into arrogance, I turned my charm into a pathetic tool used for bettering myself and belittling others. I’m sorry for my past, it cannot be changed, yet the future can change, and the future is only seconds away.

     
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